Last Days of Summer

 There's not much to say about these Pictures,

(Shocker, I know!)

Except...

That I absolutely love these girls

and 

Days where we just get to hang 

together in the setting sun.

I think they are

QUIRKY,

Cuddly,

Beautiful,

Happy,

People!

And they belong to me.

How awe-some is that?

A FAVORITE Passtime

Who would have thought that these two look so much alike?

  Not me but here their mouths look so similar.  

I love  these little profiles!

And what do you think they are all so intent on?

You get One guess!

Yup!  The T.V., Olivia...

of course.

Do you like her artwork.  To bad we can't frame that bad boy.

And yes, she sits here a lot.  She thinks it is an excuse to watch T.V.

It kind of is.  

For both of us(she watches while I do stuff like taking pictures).

I love capturing my kids doing ordinary things, 

especially when the light is filtering in so beautifully.

CraZeee Tuesday becoming a little less CraZee.

Brent came to bed last night telling me that Hunter received his Arrow of Light last night at the pack meeting neither of us were at.  Ahh, the guilt!  I am so proud of him that he earned this all on his own, in fact we had no idea he was getting it last night or that he had completed the requirements for it.  I am so grateful for Hunter and what a responsible kid he his. (I wish I had a cheesy picture of him in his uniform to insert here but I don't!) He is so on top of it and takes care of himself so well that I almost feel neglectful as a mother.  Case in point, this morning when I came downstairs he was dressed, ready for school, Buoy was fed and let out and Hunter had made his own breakfast.  He was sitting on the couch reading a book.  I do wish I could get him to practice in the morning but he is too worried about waking everyone up(despite me telling him that we need to be woken up).  Granted, I did have to tell him to change his shirt since he wore it yesterday, but let's not get carried away...he is still an 11 year old boy.

So yesterday was my last time teaching my 7:30pm CorePower 2 class and when I left I realized that I forgot to announce this to my students and I was feeling really sad about my choice to give this class up in order to make more space in my life.  I was second guessing my decision because I love how I feel while teaching and afterwards and although I still have  a C1 on Wednesdays I am now down to only one class at CorePower and may not qualify for free yoga unless I teach 2 a week.  The catch 22 is that I don't have time to actually practice for myself, but if I were teaching less then I could do more of my own yoga.

Tuesdays are our CRAZY, CraZE days.  Both Sienna and Hunter came home from school yesterday and were crying and upset that it was Tuesday.  Sienna said that she remembered on the bus that it was Tuesday and that she started crying because she hates being in the car(she gets carsick).  It broke my heart.  This has happened every Tuesday since school started.  They melt down and then I put them back together, give them a snack and then off we go...to Gymnastics(Sienna), we wait in the car for an hour, doing homework, and then it's off to Cello(Hunter), back to Gymnastics to pick Sienna up and drop Ayla off, back to Cello while we listen to the last 25 minutes of Hunter's lesson and Sienna does her homework and then we go home. I give the keys and a kiss to Brent and he drives with the kids the 20 minutes back to gymnastics to get Ayla.  Hunter and I eat something, and change, me into my yoga clothes and Hunter into his scout shirt(complaining that we haven't gotten him a new boy scout one and that he has to wear the navy cub scout shirt, we are such awful parents) and then I leave 10 minutes before Hunter has to walk through the back gate to scouts.  And I feel badly about it every time, even though he feels big.  Brent gets home with the kids at 7:30, feeds them and puts them to bed.  He has gotten really good at cleaning the kitchen, scriptures and prayer, teeth, but remembering to have the kids pack a lunch and pick out their clothes always escapes his memory, despite my reminder notes!  So the repercussions of Tuesday carry over into Wednesday morning.

And this is the reason I decided to give up my class.  I have asked my kids if they want to give up their lesson or scouts and none of them do.  And so that left me to give up mine.  When I told Brent, I had requested someone to take it over he asked me why.  I thought he would be a bit more relieved or excited but he said that it was working and though it was crazy we were making it happen.  He is so supportive it amazes me at times.  And then I started thinking maybe I should have kept it because I have to come home for Hunter to get to scouts anyway and that still means Brent has to make the trip to get Ayla and so I might as well go and teach.  And I thought I would have a few more weeks with my class but finding a replacement happened within days instead of weeks like I had planned.  In the end I think the timing was just right.  I had arranged a sub for next week since Brent will be gone and I can't physically do that Crazy day on my own and it turns out that the same person subbing is taking my class permanently.   It is a great transition time, I kept telling myself.

And then Brent came to bed and told me we missed Hunter's Pack meeting and that he was given his Arrow of Light.  And I felt like an awful, terrible, slacker of a mother and yet I also felt much better about the decision I made.  Because now we won't have to miss any more pack meetings, at least one of us will be able to go.  And in the end my kids are my priority.  I am relieved to have a little bit of the weight of Tuesdays removed and if I can feel that then perhaps it will trickle down to the kids as well.

My theme in class was about Character and Being what we want to be and I read this quote,"  We Become what we want to Be by consistently Being what we want to Become each day." -Elder Richard G. Scott.  I want more quality time with my children and more Gratitude in my thoughts and words and actions.  I am content with the choice I made and how it will give me a way to accomplish this desire.  I have so much to be grateful for that it overwhelms me, especially this week, but that's an another story.

What a long, rambling, boring post. Congrats if you read it all.  I just had to get that out!

"One Day More"

Lately I have been feeling a little lost in the mix of life.  I have found myself wondering why I continue to run on this hamster wheel day after day and then it turns into weeks and months.  I thought that with school starting and a routine that I would feel more pulled together and a little less frazzled but with school also came lessons and homework and more of the daily grind for me.  In fact I feel a little more trapped in this unending cycle.  With 3 kids in school, now it just seems as if I am in a whirlwind of them growing up and in the meantime it is days filled with, laundry, making PB&J sandwiches and asking the kids to do homework and practice and driving and waiting and driving some more.  By evening time I can hardly keep my eyes open and then before I know it they are looking at me in the morning and it is time to do it again.  So I know, or at least I want to believe, that we all have times in our life that it seems so monotonous, that we feel we can't do it one more day.  And I know, or at least I want to believe, that it will soon be over and that I will feel better.  In fact I have been holding off on posting about this because, well, I don't want to sound all depressing and what not, but this is a blog of our lives and if my kids ever read this as adults or when they have kids, I would like for them to know that I was there too.  That we all have our bad days.  Oh, I'm loving them through all of it, don't get me wrong.  I love the little things but at times I just wonder, "what is the point of all of this hub bub?"  Do you ever wonder that?

Well, that is how I have been feeling for the last little bit and I will probably wake up in the morning and again ask myself what I can cut out just so we can have a little more time to enjoy life together as a family, but for tonight, right now...  I feel great!  I needed something to break up the monotony and just to get away from the schedule and everything and today I got just a bit of it.

Brent, his staff and I went to Olive Garden for lunch(their choice) and then to Denver to see Les Miserables, my all time favorite musical.  If you remember, months ago I told Brent that he isn't romantic anymore and he didn't argue just kinda smiled as if he knew something that I didn't.  He then told me that just hours before he had bought us 2nd row seats to Les Mis showing in September.  I felt pretty rotten, well not really, I was just super excited and couldn't believe he would do that and think of it on his own.  I took the comment back about him not being romantic.

Today was a day worth waiting for.  The musical was phenomenal and it was so surreal to be sitting so close that we could see the actors microphones on their foreheads and the spit coming from their mouths as they sang.  I loved every second of it.  My old days of theatre in high school come back to me every time I see a production and I found myself critiquing the lights, props, sound, use of stage, ect.  I thought that perhaps my favorite song would change since it has been years since I have seen it and I have since reread the book, but no, I still love "On My Own" by Eponine.  It is such a heartfelt and beautiful song.  I could listen to it over and over again.  I also loved "Bring Him Home" and "One Day More".  They are so touching.

Brent had made reservations at a place we had never been called Vesta, a dipping restaurant.  We loved it!  It was all about the sauces and trying different ones with different things and it was just what I needed to do and be somewhere else, somewhere new.   It was romantic, the food was excellent as was the service and dessert was hard to decide on and neither of us were disappointed.  We both agreed we would go again.

All in all we were gone most of the day.  I feel rejuvenated to have gotten out of the city and to have a break in  normal grind and a little one on one time with Brent is always welcomed.  It is days like this that are the reasons we do the routine and normal and sometimes even yucky days.  It is the people that fill our days and make us smile that make it all worthwhile.  For me, having Brent hold my hand on a starry drive home after a perfect, much needed, date without either of us needing to say anything at all, and then walking in to a house full of memories and four adorable kids running up to us with such excitement to see us that it is evident that I was missed, this is what makes it all worthwhile.

My Children, My Garden, My happy place, My HOME.

A crazy bunch of nuts live at my house.

Of course Sienna had to pose while I was capturing my flower garden at it's peak. She is a beautiful addition.

First Day of School 2011

School started without a hitch and Ayla couldn't have been more excited. After watching two older siblings get to ride the bus and go to school for years, the anticipation was tangible. She loves saying goodbye to Elsie and having Elsie miss her. It means that she is the big sister and getting to do something not everyone gets to do. It made me laugh so hard the first day of school when Ayla came running home from the bus stop. I could see and feel the Joy emanating from her smile and her walk/run/bounce as she came to tell me all about the bus ride and her first day of Kindergarten.

The picture of her brought such tears to my eyes as I processed it because she is so beautiful to me. I love her spirit and will miss her so much this year. She brings so much peace and joy to our home, and it is lovely how we all adore her so and can't help but laugh when she is around.

Oh, I love all of my kids but it sure was time for Sienna and Hunter to go back to school and have some separation for each other and from me. Structure is a very good thing around here and the schedule has already been a wonderful welcome addition to the last week.

As a side note: If you haven't seen the new Winnie the Pooh(oh how I love A.A. Milne for writing of such wonderful characters) then you should do it. We all laughed about it for days afterwards and my kids play "Bakson"(Owls version of "Back soon" that turns into a horrendous monster that steals your socks and messes up all your books, ect.) all the time. And we loved it when Piglet said that he can not knot and everyone was so excited that he could Knot Knot. You have to see it.

Skiing with the kids in Utah

We took the kids skiing while we were in Utah and we had so much fun. It is so nice to not have to drive at least 2 hours to the resort and to not have to pay a sitter for Elsie. Thanks, Gaylene! Ayla at the end was cold(it was in the single digits that day) and tired and had a little break down but she did great as did the older two. They are quite confident on the lift and the green runs and are getting a bit more skilled. Ayla has no fear and wants to keep up with everyone else. It was so great to spend the day with them. I was a little bit nervous about the kids on the lift and told them to hold very still and sit back all the way. It was a good thing I didn't know about the girl that fell off the lift and dropped 30 feet until the next day when I was only worrying about myself falling off. Brent thought it was funny to shake the lift and watch me freak out. It just doesn't seem safe to me. Especially when you are 100 feet off the ground hovering over large boulders by only a tiny little metal piece attached to a moving cable. When we were skiing the second day with Bryan, Allison and AJ I tried to get off the lift without using my poles like Brent told me to and I made quite the scene(NOTE: I haven't had a problem with the lift until now when he told me how to do it!) So I stuck the tip of my left ski in the landing platform so I was totally unable to get off the lift but it kept going. I was saying," Oh no, OH NO!" and then the next thing I knew I was thrown off the lift onto my right hip, HARD! Then I was saying , "OH NO, OH NO!" as the lift was attempting to take my head off. I ducked under it just in time and with barely any room to spare. Then I was sliding down the ramp, skis going everywhere as the operator stopped the lift and Brent jumped off as it started to go around and back down. We skied down the run and back to the lift to find it STILL Stopped. The first line fo 2 days was all caused because of me, or one could argue because of Brent! He should have left well enough alone in my opinion. It wasn't until we were driving home that Brent admitted that he had thrown me off the lift. He said I should thank him for saving me a trip to the hospital for a broken femur. So this is for Brent! Oh dear husband, thank you so so much for telling me how to properly get off the ski lift. I really owe you! Thank you so much for grabbing my coat by the shoulder and launching me onto the icy, hard snow bank, and for the sore hip that it caused. I don't know how to repay you! But don't you worry, I will find a way. And I better not forget to thank you for one of the most embarassing moments of my life because it will be a good story for a long time to come. It was so fun to wave at the people that were just about to get off the lift but couldn't because of the fun show I had given them. I wish now that I had taken a bow. But in all seriousness, I am grateful our trip wasn't ended by a trip to the hospital and a broken femur would not be fun, even if I could have claimed a pain level of 10(Brian Regan inside joke). Thanks, Brent, for loving me enough to throw me off the lift, to have the presence of mind to save my leg and most of all to not be too embarassed to be seen with me the rest of the day! I love you for that the most. It was such a fabulous day to be skiing down the beautiful mountain with you.

This picture is of Sienna helping Ayla reattach her bungie. It made me laugh to see how easily she got in and out of this position. She was so eager to help her sister. Hunter and Sienna were cheering Ayla on all day. Their devotion to her makes me smile.

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Words of the Year

So thanks to my friend, Courtney, who posted a link to this article about choosing a word for how you want your year to look rather than New Year's resolutions. I had just talked to Brent about resolutions and we had the same discussion we have had for the last few years.

I always want to sit down and have a Family Home Evening lesson about Goals and Resolutions and have everyone pick one for each aspect of life: spiritual, intellectual, physical. And Brent always says something to the effect of, "I hate planning. I'm fine the way I am." and a bunch of other things to get a rile out of me. And of course he succeeds, since I LOVE planning. I LOVE lists and checking things off lists and the feeling of accomplishment I get when I have achieved a goal.

So... to get to the point. This article was a Godsend. It is just what I need this year in my efforts of late to let go of my many lists that are continuously growing and overwhelming me and it is great for Brent as well since he doesn't have to commit to a bunch of daily or monthly tasks that if are not fulfilled will then leave him frustrated. And as for the kids, how easy will it be for them to remember one word for the whole year. I love it.

So here are our words for 2011. We all chose them ourselves. Brent originally wanted him to have his word be Handsome, to which he said he had already fulfilled so I suggested he pick something else so he came back with "perfect". I said great. We gave Hunter a bit of guidance in thinking of what he needs to improve upon and Sienna I tried to have her think about being more openminded(opposite of stubborn) but she wouldn't have it! We suggested Truthful to Ayla and she wasn't interested. I am trying to let go and be less controling so since this is their thing I let them have their way. After all it is about them so it should be what they want, right. So this is what we ended up with.

Laurie: DELIGHT- I want to focus on the someones and somethings that bring Joy into my life and creating this blissful atmosphere in my home.

Brent: PATIENCE

Hunter: RESPECT

Sienna: JOYFUL

Ayla: FRIENDLY

Caught Redhanded

I opened the pantry to find Elsie eating chocolate chips right out of the bucket. She grabbed them real quickly and shoved them in her mouth. She makes me smile. Even if she does need some help with her hair.

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Copper mountain

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LOVE

I LOVE my family. I know, I know. Pretty much everyone feels this way about their own children, right? But for some reason I feel that MY love for MY children is extraordinarily different, somehow. More unique. More profound. More encompassing. MY love seems to resonate within me. Permeating from within my chest at times, and then expanding outward throughout my body until it seems almost tangible, in a real, grab hold of it kind of way. There are moments when I feel it so strongly that I wonder if others can sense the change that comes up inside of me. It brings tears to my eyes in these moments, and a giddy kind of laughter to my lips. And I wonder why am I so blessed, to have this feeling of immense love. And I realize that this feeling is unique, as unique as each of my children are, so is my love for them. As they continue to bud and grow, and change, so does my love for them. What a blessed, wonderful Journey we are each on in this life. May you all take hold of your unique and precious loved ones this Christmas and hold on tight, remembering the love you have for them right now in this most wonderful time of year! Merry Christmas to all of you that are so dear to us!

Rocket Boy

Hunter preparing his rocket for takeoff.

The kids ran, enjoying al the open space and Elsie sat in one spot and devoured her animal crackers.

Angie and I played camera until I realized my CF card was full, holding over 520 pictures.