DAD

Scott's Homecoming was this past Sunday and we drove up to listen to him "report on his mission". He did a great job. Well lets be honest, he did a fantastic job. Brent said that Scott is one of those speakers that doesn't pussyfoot around the subject, afraid of hurting or offending someone. I agree. Scott was a powerful speaker. He made it clear that he has a strong testimony and that there is no black and white in the church. You follow the commandments or you don't. He bore a strong witness of the Gospel and it was so great to be there to hear him and see his devotion.

I feel so blessed to have this time to be so near to Dad and Jeannie, Ember and now Scott. It is so long overdue for us to be able to nurture our relationship with one another. It makes me a little emotional to be able to be there for things like this and yet it is the other times we have seen them that builds the memories and the warm fuzzy feelings. This last Sunday was the third time we have seen them this month and it has been so great to have them as a part of our lives.

It takes hanging out with people to know the little things about them, like whether or not they like red peppers in their salad or not, or whether they care if a little one spills their pink lemonade all over the dinner table on purpose(Ayla). It takes hanging out and listening, really listening to people to understand who they really are and where they come from. I find that after 31 years of wanting to know my Dad, to really know him- who he is and what he is all about, I am finally on the road to that discovery. I am finally to the point where I can call him and talk to him and not get the nervous pit in my stomach before I dial the number, and I don't have to wait for several minutes before I hit send as I think about what to say. We can sit on the couch together and have a conversation and I can feel that he is proud of me(okay so maybe more my husband, but hey I'll take it. j/k Dad). I do feel like the void that has so long been there is slowly starting to fade.

"The past is in da past" as they say in The Lion King and I can say that this is true all I want but as I watch Ember in her Senior year, I can't help but be envious of her relationship with Dad and his involvement in her life. He know her friends names, how her dates go, what her dresses look like for her dances, her SAT scores, when she works out, where she works, what subjects she takes in school, ect. I am happy for her, that she has this but it is a small constant reminder that I did not. I do not say this with any malice, maybe a little sorrow, but I say it just because it is a fact. That being said I love the now and what the future holds. I love that he sees and notices Elsie changing and getting better at sitting and scooting. I love that Dad knows just how funny little Ayla is and that she is our little Kramer and that he remembers that he promised her Pez even though she forgot. I love that Sienna can walk around in his cowboy boots and laugh with him about it and that she tells people that her Grandpa has a horse and that he took her out to the barn to ride it. I love that he knows that Hunter loves oragami and that he tells people how good Hunter is at it. I love that he sees and expresses what a wonderful man, husband, father, provider and example Brent is. I love that he is willing to watch my kids for me in trade to go hunting with Brent since Brent has met his quota. I love that he knows I would love a Macbook and that he is willing to go shopping with me to look at them just for fun. It is such a simple thing really, but it means the world to me that he knows something about me. He did not know me, I did not know him while I was growing up, not really. But now we are getting to know each other. And I love it. I love YOU Dad.

I do not look forward to the time they will move to Utah, but I feel that these few years that they have been in Denver has really been a major insight of the Lord. I feel it is a direct blessing to me and my family. When they move to Utah we will have a firm relationship established that will hopefully continue to grow from there.